Stone-chips

The doors which once brought everyone in, now even refuse the moon light. They are protecting, whispering. The lamp posts teach the yellow lights not to cross the door sill. Nearer they come they get slitted by the grills, before they fade near the door.

The roads are constructed, smooth. But I don't see people walking down like before. Playing hide and seek like before. The drains got covered. No one needs to take turn in picking up the cricket ball from drain, pinching their nose with the other hand, any more. Car parking has taken up most of the street now. But cricket matches are held everyday in TV. No one crowds in the club house to watch it. Everyone got one at their house.

What was taboo once, quantity made it rational. A slang/gibberish said once is bad. But if everyone uses it and very often, its fine. If its on TV, my parents are too old for the time. They should learn the new age language. Every success needs a dump yard. If you make a city inside a city, you need to make some slums too. How would you compare your superiority otherwise. Places, dump yards where you can let your kids roam once a while, to let them realize how lucky they are to have parents like you. Places were you can throw your beer bottles, old shoes etc and most importantly your money as charity and to evade taxes.

You should not copy west. But you can sale east to west or use east like west. Where was west when east was going to college? I heard somewhere '...if you are fate then i am a gambler...'. I sometimes wish that I could have had this fate by its throat. But again that would prove the existence of this creature who makes everyone dance on its whims.

When I was in school I wanted to be carefree. Everyone was better than me. The only thing I was able of, was to think myself as the hero of some film where the hero in the end dies or throws his clenched fist to the air in triumph. I was content with that. To have achieved something in my dreams. I was lazy enough to do it in real life.

At this point do we not question the reality? The parents, relatives, teachers, friends etc were we our selves play the second fiddle. Even if we succeed we do it for them or only because they have acknowledged. When we do it for ourselves, its more like alone in the peace of the room. Wishing that you could be alone again among hundreds of people. Talking and walking with them. Seeing faces, hearing tunes which would never remind you of the present but always of the past or the future.

Free falling bodies

I remember free falling bodies are weightless. The theory was defined well in books and memorizing it gave good marks in exams. But my problem was not with the 'free falling bodies' but rather with the environment. For example lets consider the office-space.

I get this feeling pretty often. Like my limbs are on their own. Its generally when I am concentrating very hard on not doing something. Like walking into the office fighting back the desire to kick the glass door. Like forcing my self from seeing if you really can put your legs on the table and sleep (though I sometime try the CPU instead of the table). Nowadays I am trying to research on why 'Dudes' get angry when you take them on a ride on their chairs. Why do chairs have wheels when you want to be a static paper weight! Another anomaly on which Darwin would have probably enjoyed researching, is the aspect of calling people 'Hey MAN...'. I tried hard but till now I am unable to locate any other species in the office.

Another paradox is the dress code. Its like, for women, as long as you got lipstick/haircut etc and can cook and name something once the week or have a baby for whom you lament in office, you are cool. For men, just be 'Mature'. As in, you know, lend your shoulder/catching-falling/understanding/credit card/car key/Iphone etc. 'Hey Man...' don't ask me what these have got to do with bloody dress code! Because these are the things bound to come up when one talks about dress code. Well these things can come up in any conversation.

We have computers. Which takes 10 min to start/shut-down. Talking of RAM, mine used to have around 640 MB (don't ask me how) . Once I was enthusiastic for an upgrade. But one look at the cost/process I felt like standing on the table and dance. I was in tears and asked whether I could buy an RAM from the market and donate it. Ultimately it was made 1GB. We got a share drive for common access and to store project related data. More than 70 people are fighting for space in a 50 GB hard disk for more than 2 years now. We should think of colonizing the moon soon.

Did I miss out the smell? God knows when the carpets were incorporated. They try their best to establish that you should not walk bare foot, not only because you are in a corporate office, but also you may suddenly discover I lot of sticky/yak-yak/wet stuff in your feet. In the beginning, I was mesmerized to see a section of the wing in shadows with people working. It was like film noirs, until a couple of days later when a 'blue-shirt-short-height-irritated-staff' came and fixed the lights. Let there be light then. There is a door in the wall which do not shut properly. Once I opened it to find drain pipes. That day I discovered from where I used to hear water gurgling down during rain. Talking of rain, once on a rainy day I kept my umbrella to dry at the aisle. At evening I found it more wet than I left it. Water was still dripping down the 'glass panels' although the rain has seized outside.

Coming to the bathroom, there is also an algorithm. Of the four urinals 1 is always flooded. You got to be lucky to get your turn without waiting. Empty tissue box, automatic hand drier where you cannot ever put the hand the right way are also there. The taps, to save water stop by them selves. You probably could have shaved between the on-off session. The office starts 9.30 AM sharp. So for morning ritual the 5th floor goes to 3rd floor, 1st floor climbs to 4th floor. Did I miss out 2nd floor? Well as long as your identity is hidden its fine.

Talking about free falling bodies, its main point is memorizing the theories and getting the marks. It does not matter if the theory in itself turns you into a machine. When things are not ticking/clicking/chimming, you just put some grease.

Space-men, cowboys, rain, ice creams, a pair of gumboots and eternity

My father owned a pair of big black gumboots. That was my cutting edge when I was a space man. Complemented with the white helmet, one plastic straw sticking out of it, I was ready for the moon. I never trusted wire less or invisible technologies much, so the plastic straw was essential for me. When I was on the roof top how else could I have talked with my mother downstairs! People are just a bit too sensitive, they used to complain that I am a very noisy, pathetic boy.

The gumboot served well when I used to be the lonesome cowboy. But then also a handkerchief was needed around my neck, covering my neck. I never enjoyed wearing hats though. People just never understand. How can I be a cowboy with a six gun when there was no one to buy me some ammo! It was priced Rs 1! Too high as a price. I used to get pieces of the strip from him or them. Well then again the boy was a pest.

Once it rained. For eight years. The road in front of our house had water above my ankle. With small fishes ('How can you be so illiterate!Those are called 'GUPPY'') swimming around. I had the gumboot. I remember I got astonished that I can not see the pond. Water was everywhere and there were no line between land and water. Thousands of civilizations were gasping for me under that small pond. But he did not come out. His house was flooded and he was pouring water outside. With their whole family on the bed. So I came back home again.

Sometimes me and my mother used to go with our relatives till the main road to bid them good bye. From there some good times mother used to take me to a shop. She used to buy an ice cream. Half of it was put in a cone for me and the remaining half for her. I never understood why she did not buy me a full ice cream and I always had to share. I only got a full ice cream when mother went to bank and I had to wait. I used to walk on the bank's lined floors designing my treasure map while she stood in the queue. Coming out, there was another ice cream shop. Where they kept the ice creams in big containers and you could choose the color.

There are some alleys. Here I probably lost my school life. Or probably lost nothing as I never had anything. The boy still walks along with his booing, anger, pain, rejection. He never received the A4 page which she sent back to him. Later on, probably after 4 years when they talked again, she asked do you still have that. Astonished he replied that he never received anything. Probably all those alcohol/smoke in his veins would never have been there. Or maybe he wanted it in his unconscious mind. Thus slowly created excuses. She still sometime trips over at the side way. Shy and stupid he helps her to the auto and returns red faced. He still walks with handkerchief covering his busted and swelled and stitched lips thinking him self as a Gladiator. Those notebooks/cassettes are probably still there. The Manchester United jersey he borrowed from his brother's friend, the day she gave treat, probably was too big for him. He sometimes used to get amazed how he could make up so many topics to speak upon on phone.

Its like leaving pieces of you at safe places. Like in fairytale. What ever happens, you only need to keep the map safe and sound so that you can come back when ever you want.


[Picture @ Craig Thompson ]

34 steps....

...at 8 o'clock in the night if you step out of our house and take a right turn it takes only 34 steps before you can see the moon no more. That's not a change. That's evolution. Slowly some parts get obsolete.

It is said that time is a great healer. But I think it's quite different. It's true for them who change /sell themselves to hold the finger less hand which does not hold you in return. A cup of coffee may get replaced by a glass of whiskey or even a glass of wine but the thirst remain the same. Its only we think we have changed and don't honor our teachings. The books which tell you to open your eyes, get mixed to the alcohol of pervert TV screens or the witchcraft of radio or the gibberish of newspapers. We don't realize that the same spaces which are committing themselves for the greater good are, at the same time giving advertisements to prevent you from attaining it. Sportsperson encouraging soft drinks, fight against obesity also promoting chocolates, in the name of equality favors to people who got some branded title etc..

Its so clear. That is why no one raises an eyebrow. When the milk is spilled, nowadays it looks like the moon until your domestic cat licks it clean off the floor. The telephonic conversations encourage you to speak more by making service free. But do they increase the number of people whom you can expect to stay a bit "longer then asking you 'How are you...' and you replying 'Fine' ?"